Humor #632

Husband’s note on refrigerator to his wife:

“Someone from the Guyna Colleges called. They said the Pabst beer is normal. I didn’t know you liked beer.”

—–

A very self-centered actor was hauled into a court as a witness. When asked to state his occupation he announced quit confidently, “I am the world’s greatest actor.”

“Why did you tell them that?” a friend inquired afterward.

“Had to,” was the answer. “I was under oath.”

—–

Money can buy a house, but not a home.

Money can buy a bed, but not sleep.

Money can buy a clock, but not time.

Money can buy a book, but not knowledge.

Money can buy food, but not an appetite.

Money can buy position, but not respect.

Money can buy blood, but not life.

Money can buy insurance, but not safety.

You see, money is not everything!

Therefore, if you have too much money, please send it to me.