Humor #639

Recently launched into the “real world” and shocked by the expenses that came with it, my brother was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance.

“If you got married,” teased my dad, “the premium would be lower.”

My brother smiled and said, “That would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts.”

—–

An actress who suffered from an inferiority complex was complaining to her psychiatrist. “I’m a nothing!” she cried. “I can’t sing. I can’t remember my lines. I can’t dance, I can’t even act. I really don’t belong in show business.”

“Why don’t you quit?” the doctor asked.

“I can’t,” moaned the actress. “I’m a Star!”

—–

During college, I worked on a conveyer belt. One day, I was on a blind date, and she asked me about my job.

“I work at the end of a belt,” I said.

With an ebullient smile, she asked, “Are you the buckle?”

—–

“Oh no, not leftovers again!” complained my older sister when she saw the leftover meatloaf on the table from last night’s supper.

“Young lady,” responded my father sternly, “do you know how many people would love to have a delicious supper like this? You should be ashamed of yourself. Now before we start eating I want to hear you say grace thanking the Lord for this delicious meal.”

“Thank you Lord for this delicious supper,” muttered my sister submissively, “….again!”

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