Humor #648

A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, “Please, is there a doctor in the house?!”

Several men stood up as the lights came on.

An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, “Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a nice girl?”

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The teacher noticed that Little Johnny had arrived at school wearing only one glove.

“Why have you only got one glove?” she asked.

“Well, Miss,” explained Little Johnny, “I was watching the weather forecast on TV last night, and it said it was going to be quite sunny but on the other hand it could get quite cold.”

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Question on second-grade math quiz: “Tony drank 1/6 of a glass of juice. Emily drank 1/4 of a glass of juice. Emily drank more. Explain.”

My grandson’s answer: “She was more thirsty.”

—–

My husband, a computer-systems trouble-shooter, rode with me in my new car one afternoon. He had been working on a customer’s computer all morning and was still tense from the session.

When I stopped for a traffic light, I made sure to leave a safe distance from the stop line to keep oncoming drivers from hitting the car.

I couldn’t help but laugh when my husband impatiently waved at me to move the car forward while saying, “Scroll up, honey.”