Hummor #658

merry-xmas-fade

On the 90th day of Christmas, my true love said to me: “You take Christmas too seriously.”

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I don’t think I’ll attend Christmas dinner this year. 

My wife gave me a haircut this morning, and now she said she’s going to make Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.

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Top 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don’t like:

10) Hey! There’s a gift.

9.) Well, well, well…

8.) Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would’ve fit.

7.) Perfect for wearing in the basement.

6.) Wow, I hope this never catches fire!

5.) If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!

4.) I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3.) Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.

2.) To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

1.) I really don’t deserve this.

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