On the 90th day of Christmas, my true love said to me: “You take Christmas too seriously.”
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I don’t think I’ll attend Christmas dinner this year.
My wife gave me a haircut this morning, and now she said she’s going to make Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.
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Top 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don’t like:
10) Hey! There’s a gift.
9.) Well, well, well…
8.) Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would’ve fit.
7.) Perfect for wearing in the basement.
6.) Wow, I hope this never catches fire!
5.) If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!
4.) I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3.) Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.
2.) To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
1.) I really don’t deserve this.
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