Dieting – New Year Resolutions
2016: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.
2017: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.
2018: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2019: I will work out 3 days a week.
2020: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
I went to my Doctor and he suggested I do some exercises. Here is my new regiment…
- Jump to conclusions
- Climb the walls
- Drag my heels
- Push my luck
- Make mountains out of molehills
- Bend over backwards
- Run in circles
- Put my foot in my mouth
The Sunday after Christmas, the Sunday School teacher told her students about an angel appearing to Joseph in a dream, warning him about danger to the baby Jesus and telling him how to escape from it.
After the story time, the students were given an opportunity to draw a picture about the story. Most of the pictures were predictable, but Johnny’s had an odd element in it.
“Johnny, I see Joseph and Mary with the baby Jesus on a donkey, but what is that following the donkey?
“It’s the flea, teacher.”
“What flea?” asked the teacher.
To which the boy faithfully repeated the Bible verse: “Take Mary and Jesus and flea to Egypt. There’s Mary; there’s Jesus; and there’s the flea.”
I was trying to mow the lawn before my husband got home from work, but our electric lawn mower refused to cooperate. It would run fine for a few seconds, then cut off, run again, cut off. Finally, I gave up and waited for my husband.
He had a good laugh when he diagnosed the problem. Instead of plugging in the mower using a three-prong adapter, I had hooked up the cord through the Christmas-tree light blinker.