When I was eight my Dad was taking me to see a movie. On the way there I asked him if he would buy me some gum. He said, “No, you don’t need any.”
After arriving at the theater and taking ours seats, Dad changed his mind. He told me it would be okay for me to have some gum and he was going to get it.
I spoke up and said, “You don’t need to buy me gum anymore, Daddy. I found some under the seat.”
A father is in church with three of his young children, including his five year old daughter.
As was customary, he sat in the very front row so that the children could properly witness the service.
During this particular service, the minister was performing the baptism of a tiny infant. The little five year old girl was taken by this, observing that he was saying something and pouring water over the infant’s head.
With a quizzical look on her face, the little girl turned to her father and asked: “Daddy, why is he brainwashing that baby??”
The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.
“I’ll tell you why,” said Deacon Brown. “Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register.”
“Well,” interrupted the dealer, “didn’t you receive them yet?”
“Oh, we received them all right,” replied Deacon Brown.
“However, you sent us some golf pencils…each stamped with the words, ‘Play Golf Next Sunday’.”
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank..
The rabbit says, “I think I might be a type-O!”