Humor #694

“Man, me and my wife had a fight yesterday.”

“Oh yea, about what?”

“You see, I wanted to watch the game but she wanted to watch a movie.”

“So, how was the movie?”

—–

After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. “Make three wishes,” she told her mother, “and I’ll grant them.”

Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled.

Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged.

The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, “I wish to have a trim figure again.”

The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly.

“I’ll need more power for this!” she exclaimed.

—–

Competition for the apathy prize is keen!

—–

CYCLOPS: How do you spell Hawaii?

WIFE: [biting lip] well … you need 2 i’s

CYCLOPS: [puts pen down] My life is just a joke to you, isn’t it Linda.

—–

Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike!

Hospital officials say they will find out what the doctors’ demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs.