Humor #698

“This little computer,” said the sales clerk, “will do half of your job for you.”

Studying the machine, the senior VP said, “Fine. I’ll take two.”

—–

I was six years old when my daddy took me for my first airplane ride.

We boarded the plane and I got the window seat. After a short while I turned to daddy and exclaimed, “Daddy! We’re so high up all the cars on the freeway down there look like ants.”

Daddy moved over and looked out the window. After a moment he smiled and said, “Those are ants my dear, we haven’t taken off yet.”

—–

During a recent meeting of our Optimist Club, we challenged one another to come up with an inspirational sentence using the word countenance.

This was the winning entry: “I put a cheerful countenance on people every day.”

It was submitted by our local funeral director.

—–

“I thought I told you to keep an eye on your cousin,” the mother said. “Where is he?”

“Well,” her son replied thoughtfully, “if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he’s out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he’s out swimming.”

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