A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionist’s desk. “Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday,” she complained.
The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. “I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing,” he said. “Why do you think it was taken here?”
“After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly.”
“I think,” explained the surgeon gently, “that means your cataract operation was a success.”
When a woman in my office became engaged, a colleague offered her some advice. “The first seven years are the hardest,” she said.
“How long have you been married?” I asked.
“Seven years,” she replied.
The conductor turned to the viola student and said, “You should have taken up the viola earlier.”
“Why?” asked the student. “Do you think the practice would have made me really good?”
“No,” said the conductor. “But you might have given up by now.”
A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.
“I’ll never do that again!” he told his mother that evening. “I didn’t catch a thing!”
“Oh, next time I’m sure she’ll be quiet and not scare the fish away,” his mother said.
The boy said, “It wasn’t that. She ate all the bait.”