Humor #708

Covid-19 Thoughts – #2
Not original but I thought I would pass them on.

Never in my whole life would I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth!

Ask not what staying home on the couch can do for you, but what staying home on the couch can do for your country.

Ladies… time to start dating the older dudes. They can get you into the grocery store early.

I can’t believe I can walk into a store to buy weed, but I have to meet my hairdresser in a dark alley with unmarked bills to get a haircut.

Have you noticed that since beauty salons are closed, selfies are down 68%?

Sitting at the bar in the kitchen at night, I tried a pickup line on my wife. She gave me a fake phone number. What’s up with that?

It’s been a blessing being home with the wife for six weeks now. We’ve caught up on everything I’ve done wrong for the past 20 years.

Not to brag, but I haven’t been late for anything for the past 21 days!

Breaking news: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent coronavirus, but to stop eating.” –