I’m gonna work on being less condescending. (Condescending means to talk down to people.)
A teacher was asking her class: “What is the difference between ‘unlawful’ and ‘illegal’?” Only one hand shot up.
“Ok, answer, Joan,” said the teacher.
“‘Unlawful’ is when you do something the law doesn’t allow and ‘illegal’ is an eagle that’s sick.”
An irritated father complained to his golf buddy, “When I was a kid, my parents sent me to my room without supper if I misbehaved. But my son has his own color TV, telephone, computer, every computer game and CD player in his room!”
“So how do you handle it?” his friend asked.
“I send him to MY room!”
Most people hate to parallel park. The other day, I saw this woman trying to get out of a tight parking space. She’d bump the car in front, then back-up and strike the car behind her. This went on about 2 minutes.
I walked over to see if I could somehow help. My offer was declined though. She said, “Why have bumpers if you’re not going to use them once in a while?”