Humor #718

A Sunday School teacher was trying to explain about saying grace before meals. 

One of the pupils was the young son of the minister of that church, so she started the discussion by asking him, “Jerry, what does you father say when the family sits down to dinner?”

Jerry answered, “Dad says ‘Go easy on the butter, kids – it’s $4.50 a pound!'”

—–

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife Peg listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”

He addressed the men, “Can you describe your wife’s favorite flower?”

Tom leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, “Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn’t it?”

The rest of the story is not pleasant.

—–

I am a mental tourist. My mind wanders.

—–

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.

I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?”

Mom smiled and then replied, “Oh I remember!”

—–

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s advice.

“What do you think?” I asked. “Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?”

“Better get a bikini,” he replied. “You’d never get it all in one.”