Humor #724

I hate it when my wife says, “Are you listening to me?!”

Such a random way to start a conversation.


So in retrospect, in 2015, not a single person got the answer right to, “Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?”


It’s a sign of the time…. it’s like being 16 again…

Gas is cheap and I’m grounded again!


The minister was preaching on the evils of drink. He first said he would like to gather up all the wine and dump it into the river. Then he moved on to beer and said he would like to get all the beer and dump it into the river, and then get all other forms of alcohol and dump them into the river.

The choir director’s face began to show a worried look. The first hymn they were scheduled to sing was “Shall We Gather At the River?”


Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s.

However, her teacher had written across the bottom:

Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.

Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:

Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.