Humor #795

When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother’s wedding dress.

The day she tried it on for the first time I was sitting with Mother in the living room as Andrea descended the stairs. The gown was a perfect fit on her petite frame. Mother’s eyes welled with tears. I put my arm around her.

“You’re not losing a daughter,” I reminded her in time-honored fashion. “You’re gaining a son.”

“Oh, forget about that!” she said with a sob. “I used to fit into that dress!”

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“If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?”

– Jerry Seinfeld

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Teacher: What is a synonym?

Student: A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the other!

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Retired…

Under new management…

See spouse for details!

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Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.”

Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?”

Doctor: “Every two hours.”

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