Humor #797

Question: What is Love?

Answer: The light of Life!

Question: What is Marriage?

Answer: The Bill for that Light!

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Alex to his friend Francis: “Yesterday was my wife’s birthday, and I asked her, ‘What gift would you like to have?’”

Francis : “What did she say?”

Alex: “She said, ‘Give me anything which has diamonds in it.’”

Francis: “So what did you give her?”

Alex: “A deck of playing cards.”

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My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told us the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it.

My wife frantically swept through my daughter’s room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with my daughter.

That afternoon, my daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt.

On one side it said, “Families are Forever.”

And on the other, “Be Smart, Don’t Start.”

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My wife’s family and I were at a college football game. Every time someone carried the ball or made a tackle, the announcer would broadcast who had made the play.

Near the beginning of the third quarter after the announcer called a play, my niece Madison looked up at my wife and innocently asked, “Is that God talking?”