“Armstrong,” the boss said, “I happen to know that the reason you didn’t come to work yesterday was that you were out playing golf.”
“That’s a rotten lie!” Armstrong protested. “And I have the fish to prove it!”
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Because our new refrigerator was taller than our old one, I told my wife I’d have to cut away part of an overhanging cabinet to make it fit.
Not wanting to mess it up, I called a local radio home-fix-it program for advice. I was in the middle of getting the instructions when my wife burst into the room.
“You won’t believe this,” she said, “but there’s a guy on the radio with the same problem!”
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Contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t the apple on the tree that got us banished from Paradise.
It was the pair on the ground.
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I work in a department store where every night at closing time one of our customer service representatives reminds shoppers over the public address system to finish their shopping.
One evening, a woman who had recently worked at Kmart opened the announcement by saying, “Attention Kmart shoppers…” Quickly realizing her mistake, she tap-danced her way out of trouble by adding, “…you are in the wrong store.”
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