Humor #823

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Children

  • Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
    “Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children.”
  • You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.  Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and be quiet.
  • Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your children.
  • Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like cleaning the driveway before it has stopped snowing.
  • Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.
  • I asked Mom if I was a gifted child …  she said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
  • The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
  • We child proofed our home three years ago and they’re still getting in!