Humor #824

Visiting St Patrick’s Cathedral on a tour of New York City, my daughter and her children were awed by the sight.

The kids were especially curious about the votive candles, so my daughter asked if they’d each like to light one.

She explained that is it customary to say a prayer of petition or thanks, and she was careful to tell them that these are not like birthday candles.

“Do you have any questions?” she asked.

“No,” said the 5-year-old, “but if there’s a pony outside, it’s mine.”

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Two caterpillars are sitting on a leaf when a butterfly zooms by, startling them.

One turns to the other and says, “Boy, you’ll never get me up in one of those things.”

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Lawyer: “Is it a crime to throw sodium in your enemy’s eyes?”

Judge: “Yes, that’s assault.”

Lawyer: “I know it’s a salt but is it a crime?”

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A young man confided to his mother that he had proposed to his girlfriend and they were going to get married.

“Whatsa dis?” screamed his Mother. “Who’s a-gonna love you like a Momma? Who’s a gonna starch-a you socks? Who’s a gonna make-a you lasagna?”

“Please, Mom, calm down,” pleaded the son. “Why are you talking like that? We aren’t even Italian!”