A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their lives. The gang was very happy to escape.
“It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got out with $25 between us.”
“I warned you to stay clear of lawyers!” the boss screamed. “We had over $100 when we broke IN!”
Two elderly sisters donated $5 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to a football game. Since they had never seen a live football game before, Madge thought the free tickets would provide an excellent opportunity for doing so.
“I think so, too,” said Mabel. “Let’s go!”
They soon found themselves high in a noisy stadium overlooking a large, grassy expanse. They watched the kickoff and the seemingly endless back-and-forth struggles that comprised the scoreless first half.
They enjoyed the band music and cheerleader performance that followed.
Then came the second half. When the teams lined up for the second-half kickoff, Madge nudged her sister.
“I guess we can go home now, Mabel,” she said. “This is where we came in.”
Betty was soon to be married.
More than anything, she wanted to wear the wedding dress her mother was married in. Betty’s mother was beaming with pride as she gave her consent.
Later in the evening, the family gathered in the living room to wait while Betty tried on the dress.
When Betty entered the room, there was a chorus of approval. The dress fit perfectly and looked wonderful on her.
Tears ran down the face of Betty’s mother.
Seeing this, Betty said, “Don’t worry Mom, you’re not losing a daughter, your gaining a son.”
“Forget about that!” she said with a sob.
“I used to fit into that dress!”
A truck driver is driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?”
The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”