Difficulty Getting Clean
New terms coined for everyday occurrences:
1. PHONESIA (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
2. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.
3. LACTOMANGULATION (lak’ to man guy lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the ‘illegal’ side.
4. CARPERPETUATION (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and in frustration sweep it under the rug.
6. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To attempt to sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow remove all the germs.
MikeysFunnies.com Newsletter (8-06-02); submitted by Mike Herman, Glen Ellyn, Illinois