If College Students Wrote the Bible
* The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning – cold.
* The Ten Commandments would actually be only five; double spaced and written in large font.
* A new edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.
* Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn’t cafeteria food.
* Paul’s letter to the Romans would become Paul’s E-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org.
* Reason Cain killed Abel; they were roommates.
* Reason why Moses and followers walked the desert for 40 years; they didn’t want to ask directions and look like freshmen.
* Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, he would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do…(especially when you share the same major!)
PSYCHOLOGY: Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his Mother.
SOCIOLOGY: Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.
ARCHAEOLOGY: One tries to bury the past, and accuses the other of trying to dig it up.
THEATRE: “OH! Life is… ENDED… as we KNOW it!”
PHYSICS: Both resign themselves to the fact that what goes up must come down.
JOURNALISM: “Today was the end of an era. Jack, 19, and Jill, 18, called an end to their relationship of 2 weeks…”
WOMEN’S STUDIES: “HE did it!”
BUSINESS: Both decide that they’re spending way too much money together, and that it’s simply cheaper to be single.
HISTORY: Each party argues the breakup was caused by something the other party did in the past.
GEOGRAPHY: Both people decide to simply move far away to avoid each other.
ECONOMICS: One party demands more than the other can supply.