Humor #809

Two Liners, Part 2

It’s been raining for days, and my wife seems so sad looking through the window.

If it continues like this, I might have to let her in.

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How many software developers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Zero, that’s a hardware issue.

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Here’s a bit of advice for you.

Advi.

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Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.

You can’t tell me its a coincidence!

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What’s the only thing worse than constant advertisements?

You’ll find out right after these messages…

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To the guy who invented infinity,

thanks for everything.

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Humor #808

Two Liners, Part 1

I got a PlayStation 5 for my brother.

Best trade ever.

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I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector.

The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.

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What do you get if you mix a horse with a cat?

A very strange-tasting smoothie, and a traumatizing experience for everyone involved.

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I broke my finger today.

On the other hand, I am okay.

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I’d tell you a joke about the PlayStation 5,

but you probably won’t get it.

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As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, 

“You know, one would have been enough.”

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According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2020 was the Year of the Rat. So we’ve been spending most the year holed up, only briefly leaving to get food, running at the sight of other humans, and transmitting infection.